All I want in life are simple things and that’s all I ever really ask for from anyone, is to keep things simple and not complicated, but for some reason everybody wants to make things as difficult as possible for whoever they feel like. No reason is needed usually, if you have been paying attention you have seen this in your life at one point or another, this is for real and taking over this world while everybody looks the other way because they honestly don’t know, or they choose to not acknowledge what’s happening right in front of their eyes. The evil that is living among us looking like, acting like a regular person. These demons are so good at hiding themselves it’s hard for me to know it’s presence at first these days, they have even learned how to generate feelings that another person can feel, like when your in love.
I have been working on getting all of my shit organized for some time now but for some reason I can’t get it done. I will spend all day pulling out my belongings to see what in fact I have and what I don’t have anymore, because when you have to keep moving your stuff things disappear. I will set all the bathroom stuff to a different place or in a bag, then get out all the shoes, purses, the makeup, put full outfits together in ziplock bags and then in a rolly suitcase. I can’t ever get to the point of being done with it all and finally have everything put together so I can move forward to the next step in my process of healing.
I realize this is how evil works to keep people from becoming what their full potential would be for their life and family. It becomes overwhelming when you can’t ever get shit set up so you can take care of yourself, knowing what you need and where to find it when you need it is impossible when your always having to move around. When you have no choice but to live on the street it’s difficult to know where you can go. I go out of my way to look for a secluded spot I can be, when I do find one I have to move all of the things I need to the place I am planning to set up camp and this takes time to do because I like to have everything I need. I spend quite a lot of time putting my stuff where I need it so I can be sort of comfortable but a day or two will pass and then someone gets nosy and decides to call the police or starts to complain for you being there even though the spot isn’t being used, it’s not out in the open, but you still have to move out of it because someone doesn’t like you being there. It’s so stupid how society has made it impossible to survive when you are on the street, people are not nice about much these days.
I know when I see a person who is struggling I try to see if I can help, I think to myself that this person is obviously having a hard time with things so the last thing I want to do is cause this person more grief. The same used to apply to homeless people but since I have now been experiencing homelessness it’s not the same feeling as it used to be because of the things I have learned about the people who live on the streets. Most people will never know the kinds of things I do and thank God for that, but let me tell you all of the people who live out here are not out here because they have to be, some have chosen to be out here. They were made an offer to be part of a bigger picture with monetary benefits, in other words a job. Their job is to destroy what’s left to a person after they are forced to the street by the person who has set the target on them and it’s usually an abusive partner from the past still looking to destroy what’s left because they can’t have control over them. These people steal the things a person needs in order to maintain self dignity like hygiene, electronics, clothes, blankets, makeup, or they will scatter everything so it’s all in a big mess instead of how you had it. They will pretend to be your friend so they can gain your trust to get closer to you so later when they rip your heart out and it hurts worse because now you have started to doubt that you have the capability to see a person for who they are and will start to question your decision making skills. This kills any security you have left and how you feel as a person changes, who you are as a human being changes. The type of person you are becoming is not what you would like but how some other person wants or needs you to be for their purpose, you no longer can live for you. When someone is constantly kept at the edge of sanity and stressed out they can’t function enough to get the type of help needed for these situations because it’s so difficult to keep your thoughts straight in order to communicate to another person what your going through or what you need.
Taking advantage of someone is never alright, no matter what excuse you use or try to blame the other person. When someone is so rundown from never having a chance to settle, it becomes easy for demons to move right in and start to taking over every aspect of their life. Keep your heads up and stay aware, not everyone is your friend.