There are people who live to ruin others lives just because they can. I guess it makes them feel important, powerful, or whatever. Domestic violence goes hand in hand with evil, what I mean is how it breaks a human spirit to the lowest point where the person has no chance to get themself back to what they were before the abusive relationship and the material, mental, and emotional needs change and become non-existent as one becomes slave to master. What I believe to be the worst part of it is that it is happening to so many women and children but seems like nobody is paying attention.
I am one of those adult children of sexual abuse so I know what someone goes through when pulled into that mess. I know what it is like to never trust anybody and question everything until the death. The emotional turmoil it creates is sometimes unbearable, I catch myself sitting on the floor sunk so far into depression I wonder how long I had been sitting in the same position. I find myself falling asleep in a chair because I can’t get comfortable enough to even lay down and go to sleep, I don’t know how many times I have caught myself from falling off the chair to the ground.
My 11 year old son Aaron has a dad that is an abuser. I spent many years with that man, (Edward Collins) and let me tell you some things he has done to me. When I first moved in with him in Commerce City, Colorado I couldn’t even walk through his house because it was piled with so much crap. He had a thin trail leading to each of the doors and to the downstairs. The second bedroom should have been his daughters room but you couldn’t even get in there. It had a king sized mattress in it just thrown in. There was trash, rotten food, mice poop, dog poop and his ex wife’s clothes mixed with the daughters. It was so bad I couldn’t believe anyone really lived like that. The little girl slept in his bed with him instead of them cleaning her room.
The kitchen had dishes and rotten food piled on every counter, boxes of cereal spilled and had mice holes in the bottom of some of them. When you turned on the oven it smelled up the whole house with the smell of baked mouse poop. I looked under the cabinets under the counter and things were just shoved in and had festering mice dens in them. I have to say it was the worst place I had ever seen with my own two eyes. I had seen the show on television but didn’t think it was actually true until that moment.
I couldn’t live in that house the way it was so I started cleaning, I started with the extra bedroom downstairs, I was going to make it into a little girls room that she would want to sleep in. I started pulling things out and it was like a never ending sea of trash. I spent one whole day just cleaning up all the stuff and scrubbing everything down. The next day I put up a small bed and a side table, The sheets were washed and I found a small cute blanket to put on her bed. It looked so different and she loved it. Ed knew how much effort I put in to get that room in order for his daughter and it did not matter one bit when it came to his control issues. Not just me but he was very abusive to anyone he could to get what he wanted. He got mad at his daughter one day and told her she didn’t deserve to have a nice room and he destroyed the work I had done and her new clean spot.
He trapped me in the bathroom one time by just standing in the way, I couldn’t get past him and he was not letting me out. I tried to get out but he was not letting me, instead he was saying things to antagonize me so I would get worked up. I was doing just that, getting pissed actually. He had me so mad by the time he finally let me out I was crazy and that is what he was trying to do, make me out to be the crazy one. When he walked up the stairs to get to his truck I followed behind him, he knew I was there because I was yelling at him for what he just pulled in the bathroom. He waited until I was just about out the door when I saw him grab it and give it a big hard slam right into my face. He denies any of it.
This is called “Gas lighting”, to make you spitting nails mad so you look crazy to the outside world and eventually it makes you crazy. This man was so good at being abusive I no longer have any concept of time, I can’t seem to organize anything anymore when I used to have to have everything in it’s place so when I needed to use what ever it was I would know where it was.
The manipulation of the court and justice system when they loose their grasp on the control they have taken from you is insane. The things these abusers get away with in the courts should not be possible, because while they are ,making you crazy and stealing every ounce of the person you are they are also convincing everyone around you that he should take the kids until you can get some help. The law says that if a man has been to prison for Domestic Violence he will not get custody of any children. I found out that isn’t true when he has judges and cops in his pocket because he belongs to a prominent motorcycle club.
When I first moved in with him the whole house was sick, I was the only one who could get up and around that week so I was the one nominated to go to the store to get food for the house. I bought things to make the house a big pot of chicken soup. When I got back to the house they had all went to sleep again so I started cooking the soup. I forgot what he said he wanted me to get, he came upstairs and saw I was in the middle of making the soup. He took the pan and dumped it in the sink while yelling and calling me everything except my name. I got punched in the face like a man and had a black eye for over a month.
Now it is many, many years later and he still torments me, he vowed that if I ever left him he would ruin my life and that is exactly what he has done and continues to do. It’s not only my life he is hurting though and nothing I do or say makes any difference. My son Aaron, my daughter Stevie, and my granddaughter Addisyn, all of their lives are broken as well as mine. The youngest Addisyn has made some serious allegations to her school teacher but they don’t see a need to remove my son from his care? What court in the world does this? They take kids for less serious things than what she has brought out in the open. They are telling me the best place for Aaron is with his dad. They had me reporting to him to talk to my son when there is a permanent restraining order in place and has been since 2015.
These abusive people can and will ruin your life with any means available while paving the way to steal your kids and make you seem like your an unfit parent addicted to the drugs they used to do with you and got you hooked on. Child protective services is helping them take and keep our kids while they emotionally and verbally abuse the kids. Some of these people go beyond those points and commit violence against the child behind closed doors. The child sex trade is a giant network and needs to be dismantled. These guys and girls who sexually abuse kids and then have social services look past like nothing is going on, need to suffer some severe consequences. Those who choose not to see these things are just as guilty as the ones targeting, abusing, destroying, and then they are gone.
God says we should be forgiving like he is but I don’t see any forgiveness when a person abuses a child and never will.
People who play on the street will pay on the street so if you see something say something. Find a voice, if you don’t have one find someone who does.