Holding my composure is not one of the easiest things for me to do these days. All the crap I have to constantly endure is wearing on my soul. All I really want to do is break everything and it will stop but people say it’s not the way to handle things, it seemed to work for years for me so I don’t get how it would have just stopped.
Coming to my mother’s house here in Arizona was not a good idea after all either. I have healed my body from the fire and I have been working on learning things to be able to make money online so I can work from home but I am only a little through that process and now to be kicked to the street? It’s a million degrees here and I don’t know how to be homeless in Arizona, plus I shouldn’t have to go back out on the street.
I remember now this is always how it’s been with my family, they say they are helping me and they do to a point but when I am only part of the way through a process now also having PTSD , they look at me as if what’s wrong with you now that you can’t function? That is not supportive in any way, why don’t you just stab me, it may hurt less.
I don’t know if I am the only person who has noticed this but let me just verbalize just in case, when a person is doing good, making positive progress from what the normal is, there is always someone waiting for the opportunity to stop you in your tracks. Most of the time it is someone on the outside that goes unnoticed usually, Let me try to give an example. The person across the street constantly has his nose and his wife’s nose in my mom’s business. They sit across the street and watch everything 24/7. When they see me, her daughter they will call the person who runs the park to tell her I have been seen. That somehow turns into she lives there, so my mother get’s harassed, I have to stop everything that I am doing because now for some stupid reason on his word of lies she has to defend against what was said and I am stuck getting thrown to the street. Should these people go unpunished?